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Saturday, March 14, 2015

About love

Since a kid, I always wonder, what would future brings me later? Behind all my cheerfulness I am terrified. Then love came to my life as the age added. The  future still frightens me till now. I wonder if I ever choose a person for a lifetime correctly. After all the things that happened to me, some scars I never stop to fight are still linger.

What would I be in the future with this man? Would I ever be a happy woman standing next to him?  Would I be someone that people I love would proud of?

it kills me.

Though, for the very first time in my life, I am not worried what would I ever be with this man. I still don't know if love can last forever, cause in my short experience love forgotten by time. Then, everytime I see his smile and the way he holds me everytime, I found no reason to stop loving him.

It's like finding the right partner to conquer the world. I sacrifice a lot, he does too, I can see two sides are fighting to be together and work it out. That makes me even more sure about the idea of us.

I just would like to remind myself to be a woman that religiously, spiritually, morally, civilizationly to cherish all the things would happen to us in the future.

For once and the first time, I am sure to love and to be loved.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Questions

To the wind that blows around, I would to ask you the things I haven't overcome yet.

To the sun that brightly warms the universe, I would learn something.

Thousands questions confused me, whether I do and did the right ones.

I want this feelings that eating me so slow to vanish and burst to take distance so so so far away from me.

Wonder if I really am strong enough to handle this, or am I also will tumbling as the time pass by...

To whom I may ask, to whom deliver the answers, to whom that giving me strenght, guide me.

I don't like to be defeated roughly, nor winning dirty.

Oh life...

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Toxic people on Social Media

How often you feel annoyed of someone because of their post(s) on social media? Me? Pretty rare actually. Social media has changed the behaviour of people in a blink.

I feel a strong urge to unshare / unfriend someone from my social media account because she was ranting, complaining, whining about her family matters. Too often.

I honestly feel pity about her, I do care, but every single of her post is so negative. It becomes annoying and disgusting. Well, you know family matters are personal aren't they? Do people need to know that details about your anger everyday? Toxicating!

This is one thing I really hate to death. Whatever happens to your husband, wife, brothers, in law which contains negativity is not other's business, literally.  If you can't keep it to yourself and your closest friends, share it to a wiser person. Especially if you just want to rant or whine. It drops your value as a person. Seriously! People will look down on you, they will be aware that you are so childish even not trusted. And the people you rant about, they don't feel sorry nor offended, they are DISGUSTED!

Secondly, I found an old acquaintance updating about so not important  topic she discussed with her friend without even giving value whatsoever to whom read it. Then what's the point? Wanna show off about your lifestyle? Like how many people are actually care about it? You are not inspiring nor motivating. Got that everytime you post something that kind of annoyance none of your friends share a like sign. booyah!

Girls, no matter how upset or tickles you feel about something that really none of other's business, please keep it safe out of social media. Social media is your personal brand, you gonna ruin yourself if you keep doing that. You push people away, you make people judge you beyond reality, you make people underestimate you.

Ciao.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

whatsoever...

Darling...
I would you to know but I have no guts to elaborate
I don't wanna feel but this tickles
I rather not knowing but I should do
You and and your footprints

Whilst...
I know this ain't even close to fair
Such a sore but useless
How in the world Im not  shaken
If the eyes could be blinded
Though curiosity kills

beaten
pain, just a little
None of your fault
The blame is all mine
mine... as you... like you...

ain't fair it is
Me and the prints of my path
Not even smoother nor silky
worse in someway
better also in other way
but it feels...

sounds sweet sometimes
burning however
this is ain't fun
and all is kept
silently calmly

Gong xi gong xi

Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it! May this goat year brings us prosperity, endless happiness, the love of the universe and gratitude.

From the bottom of my heart and Halim's family, 2015.

lief,
ketty

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Happy over size

Hi folks,

I have the urge to share a little piece of much mind. So, some people were asking whether I'm so happy so I gained much weight, I confidently said yes. Cause I extremely happy living here.

Bali has given me more than realization of who I am and what I'm capable of, also a family that bigger than only blood ties. Love too anyway.

I have limited friends, I mean close friends, but they are friends that I can survive misery together with and rock the joy moments with. True friends, people said.

Well about gaining weight, is it that big problem? Not for me actually. Don't you see many women have their dream body but no love, no affection, no right career, no peace, nothing to joy for. I have what people with dream body don't have. Peace of mind, affection from good people, good food, good lover, good best friends, everything!

About attraction, if it's only because the size then it's not love, thats called lust. However I master both. hahaha.

You know, what matters most is your sincere heart and personality. Fuck the mainstream way of thinking about beauty.

Ciao!
Ketty xxx

Friday, January 30, 2015

Affair with words

Being a writer sometimes flies me too high and blows my mind till I forget how much benefits that reading gives.

Have no job to do in daily dose brings my long-time-forgotten passion breaking through the hard shell of mine. Write here and there little by little likes lite a fire in me.

Then... I forget one thing. Read! Yeah, the more you read, the better you write. Today I spent a chitchat with a fun-spirit young Balinese girl, we somehow ended up talking that I am a writer. She told me excitingly that she enjoys reading.

Here I am now, finally realized how little I read lately. Books? I have more than much. Time? So plenty till I forgot how it feels to be busy. Saw a post of my beloved inspiring person, emak, about her newest blog post tickled me too hard to resist. Scrolling down the page, read every word lovingly. Feels too good!

Now, I can say I'm in love with words all over again. in reading or writing. Sometimes what we  discussed with other people remind us what we forget.

Now I'm ready to make love with books again!

Monday, January 26, 2015

After 12 years

"Camera... Roll.. ACTION!!" 12 years ago, those words were daily took in almost everyday dose. Being on set of a TV series, TV comedy show, anything like that. Acting and being centre of attention are two things I mastered. Good times though kind of embarrassing to remember.

I used to spent time with a group of kiddos whom did the same thing as I am. Our parents did too. At that moment, we believed that we could conquer the world and will be friends for a life time. Not all happening indeed.

Different interest and social environment tear us apart as strangers. Not entirely able to blend in rightaway. However I try hard to maintain the friendship. Hard as rock I must say. You have to ask multiple questions to build and find a little common perception whatsoever.

Well, gratefully I finally met up with one of my childhood art friend. Yes, I called it art, cause action and performing are part of art too, right?

Since I moved to Bali, good things become crystal clear. What's so close sometimes be a very far ones. I met Callina, just yesterday happened. She unplannedly in Bali, I saw her update on path then I threw the idea to meet up. Then the day went so fun!

We spent amount of time stranded on a beautiful clear blue beach and got heaps of nice pictures. Had dinner with lots of laughs and then saying see you again by the airport.

Oh yes, I hate how much I look fat in the pictures. However, my size doesn't define how quality of life I have here like misery I have being fat again. lol. I'm totally in happy and gladfully phase. Oh how God is so great. Put more reasons for me to be thankful. #365daysofthankfulness #day26 #2015forabetterme

Love,
Ketty xxx

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Day 8 of #365daysofthankfulness

Hey there!

I currently writing with the balinese gamelan music as a background, at my yoga studio. So nice with some dark orange nuances around me and some green all over the places. My pepermint tea is still hot. I just finished the Superflow Vinyasa Yoga for today. What a blast! I can't thank enough for this amazing daily dose I have during my stay in Bali. God is great indeed.

8 weeks I've been living here. Facing all the good and bad by the moment. Happy new year. Some tears have shed though it makes me stronger along. So many things I wanna share makes me lost on words.

I'm missing my best friends in Jakarta, though I keep them in hand. *Thanks technology!* With taking a distance from evil city, I have found so much in me. Which are the friends that I really need, who are family for life, and what's good about life itself.

Surprisingly I've started to jump in to the sports again. What a long year back there kept me away from fit and health. I drink much less alchohol, I eat much more fruits and veggies. I loved even more, by human and nature.

Then I truly believe, what made me in hard situation was my self. I am in progress to allow none that toxicating my life too much and welcome that infused me with greatness.

So I would like to share some resolutions of mine in 2015. It also helps to remind me what my goals are. *grin*

* Stay fit and healthy with exercises and better food
* Drink alchohol occasionally only!
* Read more and more and more
* Hate less, angry less, more understanding
* Travel often!
* Education controlled
* Create much more than ever!
* Be grateful always each day

So what about you? Well I keep mine short and no more Long list however its not as easy as it sounds. Although I will stay holding on "Do whatever you like and fuck people" it means I don't give a damn to anyone's opinion. I control my life. I don't need anybody to validate my existence and quality of life. Here is my thankfulness of day 8 in 2015. #365daysofhappiness. May all the peace be with you and me always.

Namaste,
Ketty xxx